Watching A Loved One Suffer

I wake today with a heavy heart as I watch my partner in life suffer from depression. I know the feelings all to well of desperation, helplessness, uselessness, and hopelessness. Life no longer exists to him and the beauty of the world has been drained like a sink full of water. Caring for himself is unthinkable and anything more than that is simply impossible.

My previous post is about the wrongs done to the mentally ill. This is a little different but the same subject. This is all about supporting the ones we love in any crisis situation and believe me a low in a depressed person is a crisis. We support those who suffer from cancer and this is a disease that is as bad and dangerous as cancer. It kills thousands a year and the care should be just as aggressive and taken just as seriously.

As my husband struggles with the decisions of daily life the only thing I can do is TRY to reassure him that he is not a loser, not letting anyone down, not giving up, and not less of a person because he needs help. There is no shame in treating an illness and that is simply what he has. AN ILLNESS. When we have loved ones who suffer any kind of crisis, whether mental, physical, or even financial, support is the biggest and best thing we can do to help.

Try to learn about the issue and how to go about resolving it. Provide options without making them feel bad for not approaching these options. Show the logic in different solutions and offer ways to access these solutions. This could be anything from providing a ride to an appointment, holding a hand, listening to tears, or calling around for a suitable solution. Provide facts and suggestions but do NOT chastise the person if they feel the circumstances are beyond control. Try to encourage them not to give up. Try to convince them of the reasons to not give up. Try to give them HOPE.

When we as a race suffer any kind of crisis the only thing that gets us through is HOPE. I know many would say that their higher power is the only reason they get through but not everyone, myself included believes in a higher power and even if I did HOPE would be what got me through. HOPE for an improvement in circumstance. HOPE provided by a higher power, a doctor, a friend, a family member, is what drives us to keep moving forward. HOPE is the only way to help someone in crisis. When someone has lost hope show them that you have the hope they lack and that you will provide that hope until they can see it too.

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